The Role of Praise in Montessori (and how to encourage and inspire your child)

One of my favorite aspects of Montessori education is its approach to praise. Montessori guides spend a great deal of time observing their children without judgment, ensuring they receive the right encouragement at the right moment. As adults implementing Montessori at home, we should also consider how we praise our children so that our words foster growth and self-motivation rather than dependence on external validation.

Understanding Praise in Montessori Education

Over the years, I’ve observed that conventional praise can sometimes be a double-edged sword. In our culture, we often praise children with phrases like “Good job!” or “You’re so smart!” These comments are well meaning but can make children reliant on adults to know if they’re doing something right.

In Montessori education, praise is used thoughtfully and intentionally. The goal is to encourage intrinsic motivation and a love of learning. But what does this look like in practice?

The Impact of Conventional Praise

Let’s consider a common scenario: a child completes a puzzle, and you enthusiastically say, “You’re so smart!” While this might make the child feel good momentarily, it subtly sends the message that their value is tied to their intelligence and the outcome of their efforts. Now, imagine the same child struggling with a more challenging puzzle. If they’ve internalized the idea that being smart means doing something quickly, they might avoid difficult tasks for fear of failing or no longer being “smart”.

A 2007 study by Carol Dweck, a leading researcher in motivation and mindset, came to similar conclusions. Dweck found that children who were praised for their intelligence were more likely to choose easier tasks and show decreased performance after facing failure. In contrast, children who were praised for their effort showed increased persistence, enjoyment, and performance.

Emphasizing Effort and Process

In Montessori, we shift the focus from outcome to effort and process. Instead of saying, “You’re so smart,” we might say, “Wow, you worked really hard on that puzzle.” This type of praise acknowledges the child’s effort and strategies, reinforcing the idea that persistence and hard work are what lead to success.

Here are some ways to incorporate this approach with your child:

1. Describe What You See: Instead of offering generic praise, describe what you observe. For example, “You spent a lot of time making sure all the pieces fit just right.” This helps children focus on their actions and the effort they put into their work.
2. Acknowledge Specific Efforts: Highlight specific aspects of their effort. For instance, “I saw you tried different ways to solve that problem before finding the right solution.” This encourages a growth mindset by emphasizing problem-solving and perseverance.
3. Encourage Self-Reflection: Ask questions that prompts your child to reflect on their process. “What part of that activity did you enjoy the most?” or “What did you find challenging, and how did you overcome it?” This helps them develop self-awareness and a deeper understanding of their learning process.
4. Celebrate Progress: Focus on their progress rather than the final result. “You’ve improved so much in your drawing; look at the details you added this time!” This reinforces the value of learning and growing over time.
5. Be Genuine: Children are perceptive and can sense insincerity. Make sure your praise is genuine and reflects their actual efforts. Over-the-top praise can sometimes feel disingenuous and lose its impact.

Reflecting on Our Approach

Change takes time, and it’s okay to slip up occasionally. The key is to reflect on our approach to praise and continually look for opportunities to support our children’s growth mindset. By focusing on effort, process, and intrinsic motivation, we can help our children develop a love of learning that will serve them throughout their lives.

Ready to Learn More about Montessori Praise?

We offer programs designed to help every child thrive, with programs that embrace the principles of thoughtful praise and intrinsic motivation. Discover more about our Montessori education offerings and start your journey towards fostering a growth mindset today!